Give Children a Job

Children often enjoy being included in the preparations, especially when they're given a job that feels important.

Depending on their ages, they might:

• Put napkins at each place setting.

• Help arrange unbreakable decorations.

• Carry bread or other lightweight items to the table.

• Pass out coloring supplies.

• Help clear their own plates after the meal.

• Show younger children where to sit or where to find an activity.

Naturally, the job should match the child's age and abilities. A preschooler can put napkins on the table, but probably shouldn't be trusted with the gravy boat.

Don't worry if the napkins aren't perfectly straight or the decorations aren't arranged like something from a magazine. The point is participation, not perfection.

When children are given a chance to contribute, they often feel more connected to the occasion. They aren't just waiting for the adults to finish doing everything. They're helping make the day happen.

Have a Few Activities Ready

Even with coloring placemats and a few helpful jobs, there will probably be times when children need something else to do.

It's useful to have a few simple activities in mind. It also helps if one person, or a series of people, can take turns keeping the kids occupied. You don't need to organize a full afternoon of entertainment. Just having some possibilities ready can save you from scrambling when someone announces, "I'm bored!"

Here are a few ideas that require little or no preparation:

A Thanksgiving scavenger hunt: Ask children to find things around the house or yard, such as something orange, a leaf, a picture of a turkey, or something that reminds them of fall. Make the list short enough that it feels like a game rather than homework.

A family story session: Invite grandparents, parents, or other relatives to tell a funny story from when they were children. Kids often enjoy discovering that the adults in their lives were once young, too.

A simple drawing challenge: Ask children to draw the biggest turkey, the funniest pilgrim, or what they think the Thanksgiving table would look like if animals prepared dinner.

A little outdoor time: If the weather cooperates, a short walk, a game of catch, or some time in the yard can help children burn off energy. Just make sure someone is available to supervise.

A quiet corner: Sometimes children need a little time away from the crowd. A book, a few toys, or a comfortable place to sit can be just what they need.

The best activities are the ones that fit the children who will actually be there. There's no reason to plan a complicated craft for a group of children who would rather play outside.

Let Thanksgiving Be a Little Different

This may be one of the most important things to remember when celebrating Thanksgiving with children.

Good manners matter. Children should be polite, respectful, and considerate of the people around them. But there's a difference between teaching courtesy and expecting children to behave like miniature adults for an entire holiday meal.

Thanksgiving probably isn't the day to make a big issue out of every ordinary childhood behavior.

I've seen holiday meals become uncomfortable, not because children were being especially difficult, but because parents were determined to make them eat everything on their plates, sit perfectly still, or remain quiet while the adults talked.

A child who doesn't care for a particular food doesn't need to be forced to eat it just because it's Thanksgiving. A child who gets restless after sitting at the table for a while isn't necessarily being disrespectful. And a little noise and lively conversation are not signs that the holiday is falling apart.

There are plenty of ordinary days to work on table manners, trying unfamiliar foods, and following family routines. Thanksgiving is a good day to relax a little and enjoy one another.

Children are part of the family gathering, not guests who must be on their best behavior every minute.

When parents spend the entire meal correcting, reminding, and scolding, they often miss the very thing the holiday is supposed to be about. The children aren't having much fun, either.

A little flexibility can make the difference between a meal everyone remembers fondly and one everyone is relieved to have finished.

When Things Don't Go According to Plan

Something will probably go wrong. That's not a prediction of disaster. It's just how family gatherings work.

Someone may spill a drink. A child may become tired or overwhelmed. The food may take longer than expected. The carefully planned activity may be ignored in favor of a cardboard box.

Try not to let small mishaps take over the day.

Keep a few paper towels handy. Have a change of clothes available for very young children. If a child needs a break, let them have one. If the schedule gets off track, adjust it.

And if the children abandon your carefully prepared activity after four minutes, don't take it personally. You gave them an opportunity. What they do with it is another matter.

Sometimes the funniest holiday memories come from the things nobody planned.

Make Room for Family Memories

Thanksgiving is a wonderful opportunity to bring generations together. Children can learn a great deal simply by spending time with grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and other family members.

Invite them to ask questions. Let them hear stories about family traditions, favorite foods, and holidays from years gone by. If someone has a special way of preparing a dish, let the children watch or help if it's safe and practical.

You might even begin a small tradition of your own. Take a family picture each year, let the children choose a favorite Thanksgiving song, or have everyone share one thing they enjoyed about the day.

The tradition doesn't have to be elaborate. In fact, the simplest traditions are often the ones that last.

Children may not remember every dish that was served or whether the table decorations matched. But they may remember sitting beside Grandma, laughing with their cousins, helping carry the rolls, or being allowed to stay up a little later.

Those are the things that make a holiday feel like family.

A Few Things Worth Remembering

If you're hosting Thanksgiving with children, keep these ideas in mind:

• Prepare a few simple activities, but don't try to fill every minute.

• Let children help with small, age-appropriate jobs.

• Give them something enjoyable to do while waiting for dinner.

• Allow room for movement, noise, and the occasional mishap.

• Encourage good manners without turning the meal into a lesson.

• Remember that children and adults can enjoy the same gathering in different ways.

Most of all, give yourself permission to enjoy the day, too. You don't have to create a perfect holiday. You just have to make room for people to come together.

Printable Thanksgiving Coloring Placemats

A simple coloring activity can make the wait for Thanksgiving dinner more enjoyable. We've created printable Thanksgiving activity placemats in both letter and legal sizes.

Print the size that works best for your table, put out a few crayons or colored pencils, and let the children add their own color to the celebration.

• Thanksgiving Placemat Coloring Sheet: Letter size, Legal size

It's one less thing to worry about, and it gives little guests something of their own to enjoy while the turkey makes its way to the table.

After all, Thanksgiving is about being together. A little laughter, a little mess, and a few colorful placemats are perfectly acceptable parts of the occasion.